It's so strange how only a short period of time can change a person's lifetime and make him/her walk into a completely different path like they had never imagined.
My friend, you came for only 12 days but we spent almost 24 hours together each day. You and your careful thoughts, your intelligence, your charm, and your ability to amaze me just threw me away...... further than i had ever been. Even though I know you had no interest in me and what you had done for me was more of your brain than your heart, somehow I appreciate it.... Thank you ...Really.....
You've left me to continue on with your life, and you've chosen to NOT continue on with what we had. Even though you didn't say, I could feel it.
Until now, i still don't understand myself to why I fell for you so much. I never did before. May be a tiny bit of hoping and flirting but never to liked. And the fact that you were so independent you didn't need any caring from me, it was hurtful but i'll move on..... soon I hope.
I feel like my heart has been broken..... yet you didn't break my heart. In fact, you didn't do anything. So, is it just me that keep wishing and hoping that we would have had something more? Even though I know the deepest in my heart, it'll never be. Even if we continued on, it'll never work out. We're too far apart.... far in distance, far in thoughts, and far in feelings. I had always knew, if i chose to get a little closer to you , there'd be conseqences. I just never thought there would be this many.
I'm missing you every second, yet knowing in the bottom of my heart we'll never be together and that i'm the only one thinking about us. This has also changed the view I see my current relationship completely. May be who i thought was the one isn't really the ONE. May be I need someone with intelligence, great looks, maturity, attractions, and gentleness.
My dear, being with you had taught me lots and lots of things. Also, it makes me more confused than ever.... as if i'm going crazy ALONE.. and no one is feeling it with me.
You've taught me not to be so lazy. I should get out of my vicious circle of staying at home and do absolutely nothing. I should follow my dream.. if i like something, i should try and practice it so that i'll get good at it. Just like you with your cooking, music, story writing, etc. I should find something to do that will make my life worthwhile like working, painting, singing. I don't have to watch TV or go on the internet all the time. They just wastes of time. I can do heaps of things in one day. I should really get out there and make my life worth living. Maybe i'll like myself more.
And may be we don't have to talk all the time. You have taught me to think before i speak. Everything you said was as if you have thought of it carefully. And the fact that you were so calm, unlike me who jumps so easily. I love the fact that you have won everyone's heart, especially my mom's. She even said, "he was an great guy." I aggree with mom. I love the way you touched me. It was that touch I have been looking for for years. It was so gentle, yet i wish you had put your heart in it too.
You taught me to stop acting like a baby. I should be old enough to do things and make decisions on my own. I have to stop playing cute and start acting and thinking like an adult.
My friend, I know you don't feel the same way I feel about you.... and we'll probably never meet again. Maybe my memory of you may fade through time. But that's okay. You will probably never get to read this ever. I'll just keep this to myself. You'll always be in my heart and there is no way that i will have forget you, a person who shared a part of me for 12 days but changed who i am forever.
